We need to drop the word “should” - here’s why

Every time I hear someone say the word "should", I get curious. It's like a signal that someone else's perspective or opinion is coming through.

Here's what the word "should" means to me, and why I encourage you to drop it.

It’s not what you want.

Any time I hear the word “should”, it sets off warning bells. In coaching, we’re trained to listen for what people really want and how to help them dive deeper into that desire. Often, it’s our job to help foster a greater sense of fulfilment and purpose in our coachees lives.

Should...

tells me that what the person is saying isn’t their desire at all, but the expectation or desire of someone else. It’s often an obligation they feel, or what they think other people expect of them.

On the flip side,

“should” can be helpful. It can help to identify where someone is not listening to their gut, where there is a values misalignment, or where they are not in touch with what they really want.

Instead of should,

embrace phrases like:

• “I want”

• “I wish”

• “I need”

as these help us become clearer about what we want, and what we need.

Stop using the word “should”. You’ll be glad you did!

Will you drop the word “should”?